This Intimidating Lady

So I was out for Saint Patrick’s Day with Blake  and Seth, because everyone else decided they couldn’t possibly go out on a Thursday.  Not even for Saint Patrick’s Day…  When did I become the alcoholic in the group?  I need everyone I hung out with in college back.  Steph would have come, but she was at Cam’s father’s wedding.  I’ll gloss over the fact that planning your wedding on Saint Patrick’s Day (especially when it’s not your first and it’s a Thursday) is a bit weird, and simply state that she’s forgiven because it was a more important commitment.

Anyway, later in the night, Seth and I met up with my friend (through Larissa) Dezi.  He was in a much bigger group than mine, but I don’t know if the bigger group really matters.  Blake had gone home to sleep at this point.  He was almost to the point of everyone else, but at least he came out.

So, while Seth and I were hanging out with Dezi and friends, Dezi, some of his male friends, and I were talking about March Madness.  All men…  and I…

I was talking a while ago about Larissa’s flirting habits and I mentioned that all I have as a manly interest is college football.  That’s not quite right as you’ve now heard me go on and on and on about March Madness.

I love college sports.

I love them with so much devotion and support even if the teams I like aren’t the most nationally recognized ones.  College sports are about unwavering fandom.  Fair weather fandom is for the truly uninvested.

So you can imagine my surprise when one of Dezi’s friends interrupted our March Madness discussion with “Well, this is intimidating.”

Dezi and I both stared at him, so he elaborated, “The person most vocal about the tournament is a pretty girl.  It’s intimidating.”

This is where it gets confusing to me.

Larissa’s manly interests, which are often portrayed as exaggerated lies, are seen as cool or hot.  Her exaggerations attract men to her.

Meanwhile my very real and legitimate love of college football, well all sports, but mostly college football is either ignored or brushed off.  Something I never lie about seems to turn men off.

Does it have nothing to do with being a turn off?  Is it really just intimidating?

I don’t think I’m intimidating at all (or not any more than a girl who claims to wield a gun, drive a cool car, and play a mean game of Halo all while drinking beer and all in one day).

I have a lot of faults.  Like my incessant rambling.  Or my perpetual state of being five to fifteen minutes late because I want to look absolutely amazing.  Or my overly emotive hand gestures that knock drinks over.  Not to mention all of my “grass is greener” insecurities.  And I could go on and on and on about these things.  And this doesn’t even get into the weird stuff, like my need to step on planes left foot first.

My point here is, I’m not intimidating.  I’m normal.  Just plain ordinary normal.

So if men find me intimidating, here is what I want to say to them.

Dear men,

I am not intimidating at all.  Here’s why:

I have to step on planes left foot first to conquer my crippling fear of crashing.  I ramble more than anyone you have ever met.  If I tell you I have a story, you better have at least twenty minutes to devote to it (more if it’s a long story).  Sometimes I think way too much before I process everything I want to say and I want to get it out, so I just start blabbering on, only to realize ten minutes later that there’s a Mexico, New York.  I like college  sports.  My favorite music also includes bubblegum pop from the nineties.  I like to play tennis and go running; I’m also not very talented at either.  I have a bad habit of running late, overestimating available time, and underestimating arrival time.  I over pack for everything.  I will borrow your clothes and you may never see them again; you’ll have to prepare for that.  Sometimes, I wake up looking like a raccoon in the mornings.  I love cheesy things like mini golf and bowling.  When something is really, truly funny, I will laugh about it for twenty minutes… at least.  I expect people to keep their plans, or have a good reason for canceling/rescheduling.  If different parties’ adjustments to these plans conflict, I will go out of my way to make it convenient for everyone (even at an inconvenience to myself).  I want to travel the world, but I don’t really have the time or money right now.  And I’m secretly (or maybe outwardly) terrified of ending up all alone because all my friends are getting married…

So as you can see, even though this is a short list of my quirks, it’s a notable one.  And one that proves I’m hardly intimidating.

I’m one of the friendliest people you will ever meet, so just walk up to me.  You’ll at least enjoy talking to me.

And you finding me intimidating hurts me more than it hurts you.  You probably have no idea…

Work on that.

Sincerely, Deidree