Last Time (Part One): I arrived in upstate New York, we had a conversation about beavers, and Shawn pulled a typically American stunt.
Part Two!… In which we have a Colorado-style beer race, that I don’t lose, and Seth learns the difference between English and American, much to his embarrassment.
Our hotel was the Hyatt Regency. The rooms were so nice and spacious compared to the last time I was in a hotel, but that was in Time’s Square, so I think that’s a bit different? (That and we shoved sixteen people in two doubles, so there’s that.) But with the six of us at the moment it ended up that Shawn and I would share a bed, Seth and Blair would share a bed (their relationship is complicated at best), and then the two remaining guys would each take one of the other beds. I think they were king sized, so it was really nice.
We dropped all the bags in one room and then congregated in the hallway while we waited for Shawn and Ryan. We didn’t sort out rooms until later, and it was my fault how we ended up doing it… But we had four keys for two rooms and the boys unanimously decided that the four of them would keep track of the keys because girls couldn’t be trusted with them.
We then split into our two groups again and Seth, Blair, Brent, and I went down to ask the concierge about restaurants in the area that maybe had drink specials. Shawn and Ryan would follow us in about five minutes. We ended up settling on Les Tres Garcones or something on Rue Saint Catherine because it was having half price pints. (I’m grasping at the name of the restaurant, but it reminded me of three margaritas here in America, haha.) Shawn and Ryan joined us at the elevators and we all proceeded out. It was chilly, but had stopped snowing at this point.
We made it to the restaurant and Brent tried to be polite and French (He did through the whole trip, as he was the proficient French speaker among us. I mostly stuck with bonjour and merci). We were seated at a six top by the window. The wait staff was impressive in their ability to switch so quickly between French and English. We were given French menus and were told the special on the pints was on the blond and brunet beers. Shawn, Blair, and I got the blond and Seth, Ryan, and Brent had the brunet. We all puzzled through the French menu while waiting on our beers. When the waitress came back she asked if we were ready to order and Seth bursts out “Can I get an American menu?” The waitress quipped back “We don’t have any American menus, but I’ll be happy to get you an English menu.” The rest of us cracked up after she left. Whenever we were by ourselves, not in earshot of the Montrealians, we made the joke about things in “American” (but we pronounced it “A-mur-i-ken” because it was hilarious). Shawn later proclaimed that we were no longer American for the rest of the trip, but then I have no idea what nationality we were supposed to be instead… I don’t think you can pretend to be Canadian in Canada and I told him as much. We didn’t really discuss it further.
Everyone who had no understanding of French was too embarrassed to ask for an English menu after Seth’s request, so they pretended to be immersed in their French menus until after Seth had decided what he wanted, then they fought over the English menu. Brent and I remained in calm possession of our French menus. I ordered a pesto chicken wrap and it was tasty, but I hadn’t wanted the onions in it… Apparently all the restaurants we went to didn’t really make anything customizable, which was unfortunate. It really was good, but sweet onions make me a little sick.
On our way there we had stopped into SAQ and were horrified that everything was at least fifty dollars minimum. So Brent kindly asked out waitress where we could buy cheap liquor and where we should head out that night. She explained that we should go to SAQ, but down the stairs and around the corner through the automated doors and we would be in SAQ Classique (I think it was classique… For the sake of the story, I’m just going to assume it was.) and that would be where the cheaper priced alcohol would be. She also suggested Rue Saint Catherine as our night outing street.
Let’s see… While we were eating, we had a “beer race.” Well, it was an accidental beer race, actually. Shawn, Brent, and Ryan were all pretty normal male speed dinner beer drinkers. Blair and I were slower, because I don’t really like beer and Blair wasn’t really a beer chugger. Seth was just being slow. At some point during dinner, Shawn pointed out that I was drinking my beer faster than Seth (this was about the time Shawn, Ryan, and Brent had ordered another pint). Of course all the guys teased him about his womanly beer drinking and Shawn encouraged me to beat him to show him how we do it in Colorado. I happily obliged and then Seth was given shit. Blair also finished her beer before him and he was given more shit. Ryan offered to finish his beer for him, and Seth refused, but that was the beer race….
Anyway, we left the restaurant and headed back to SAQ, down the stairs, and through the automated doors to SAQ Classique. Someone compared it to a gas station liquor stop and we dispersed to figure out or alcohol buying. Shawn and I procured an Absolut (which was about 23, but that’s only about five dollars more than in America, so I was happy), Brent found a maple flavor whiskey, and Seth was excited about his Beefeater (gross). We asked them where we could find liters of soda and they pointed us in the direction of a corner store by the metro. The litres were gas station sized (in mL) and we were not pleased.
We walked down the street and passed by a Pharmapprix, which we assumed to be the equivalent of Walgrens/Rite Aid or what have you. We managed to find some Orangina (awesome and delicious), tonic water, and I think we got a pepsi? I know we got a pepsi the next night, but I really can’t remember what the other one was. I tried to put in a vote for sprite, but got shot down. It was probably still a pepsi the first night….
Anyway, we headed back to the room with the ipod dock (only one of them had it, so sad) and played cards. I tried some of the maple whiskey and it wasn’t that great while you were drinking it, but the after taste was very mapley, so it wasn’t bad at all. We ended up playing up the river down the river, fuck the dealer, and king’s cup. I got tore into for my forgetting some king’s cup rules and… That’s really all I remember.
I ended up getting sick and being left behind. So I broke my promise to Shawn. I didn’t know I was left behind at first (tucked into bed nicely too), and I came to around three and was all alone in the room and freaked out, so I texted Shawn a sad little “Shawn?” and ended up getting pocket dialed by him later. Sorry this first night isn’t too exciting, because I wasn’t there and I don’t remember much of the card playing other than that we played and drank.
I was told a funny story the next day though. Apparently, they all came back to the hotel in waves and the last two out were Shawn and Brent. They ended up at the 24 hour burger king because Shawn had to pee. Meanwhile, Brent ordered some fries and then he couldn’t find Shawn anywhere. So he banged on the bathroom door for him and got no answer. He said “I worried he might have passed out in there and hit his head or something. I waited for ten minutes and kept knocking on the door, but then I said ‘fuck it, he’ll find his own way back.'” So Brent came back to the rooms, but he was still worried about Shawn, so he knocked on the red key door.
(Remember how I said I decided who was in what room? Well the party room was the red key room, and even though Shawn and I had originally dropped our stuff in the purple key room, the red key room was where they had put me to bed and tucked me in. So the rooms ended up being me, Shawn, and Ryan in the red key room and Blair, Seth, and Brent in the purple key room.)
Anyway, so Brent knocked on the red key room’s door. “And the door opened and you know who was standing there? Shawn, in his boxers. He waved at me with a huge shit-eating grin on his face and shut the door. Shawn left me at burger king, that fucker.'”
Shawn had adorable boxers with a martini glass/shaker pattern, I remember that. And he decided to roll over on me and squish me at one point… And that was how the rest of the night went.
Next Time: Shawn wakes up and has some vodka with his water in the morning.
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