“Who’s My Baby Daddy!”

As I said in my first blog post, I am currently recovering from surgery.  I’m hating every second of it.  Remember when you were a little kid and you wanted any excuse you had to stay home from school?  Or in college when you wanted anything to avoid taking the bus for twenty minutes to get to work after a long Friday or Saturday?  Maybe that was only me.  Regardless, I hate every one of these wishes I ever had now.  I am about to go insane from having nothing to do.  I will say this again, but as soon as I am done recovering from this surgery I am getting out and doing tons of things.  Tons!

In any case, I’ve had a long time to sit and watch a lot of tv.  I haven’t been watching daytime tv because it is incessantly annoying and the commercials are almost as bad as the shows.  I forget that we have cable.  I got so used to not having cable while growing up that remembering cable is hard sometimes.

In the days of not having cable and not having DVD players, though, there were only a few good shows to watch during the day.  These were The Price Is Right, Million Dollar Pyramid, and Family Feud.  I really like game shows.

But yesterday I was having a conversation with my friend/sorority sister Melissa (she just started law school in Texas) about daytime television.  Well, actually, it started off as a conversation about the commercials during daytime tv.  The ones mentioned in particular were the commercials for associate colleges and law firms.  You know, the ones where injury lawyers have big block letters and smashing fists.  And then all the colleges have catchy theme songs and pressure you to get a degree in criminal justice.  I mean, I always though law school required pursuing a post-graduate degree, but who am I to judge?  Melissa decided that these commercials fill her with joy because she can laugh and feel pride about her bachelor’s degree from an accredited university.  I, on the other hand, feel a half feeling of sadness/annoyance that I am home in the middle of the day to see them.  But as I said, thankfully I’ve been watching DVDs during my surgery recovery.

Annoying commercials aside, there is one other highlight of daytime television…  Maury.  A conversation followed in which I dissected the very pristine purpose of the Maury show: “Who’s My Baby Daddy!”  As a kid, the only time I was home watching daytime television were those aforementioned times I was sick and national holidays.  So on Christmas, New Year’s Day, Thanksgiving, etcetera, the very delightful and entertaining episode playing is “Who’s My Baby Daddy!”  As a kid, all I ever really saw of Maury were these episodes.  And I realize that he has other less dramatic and more touching episodes, but there is just something about these episodes that is hilarious and enjoyable.  Whenever the potential/supposed father says the child looks like some kind of weird animal, he’s always the father.  If he ends up not being the father, he does a stupid dance.  There is more swearing in Maury than any other show I can think of, well, except maybe Howard Stern.  You have to wonder what kind of people think being on the Maury show is a good idea.  This is really what I’ve always wondered.  How does going on national television and subjecting yourself to the fifty/fifty chance of a paternity test ever sound like a good idea?

If nothing else, Maury helped spawn the episode of South Park where Butters and Cartman appear on the show.   “Whateva!  I do what I want!”

Some Thoughts About Weddings

So I said that today I would talk about weddings.  I think weddings are always a popular topic among women because, somewhere in her heart, every woman wants to get married.  Or, at the very least, she wants to wear that really pretty dress.  I am no stranger to wanting to get married.  It’s part of the life plan.  And, admittedly, whenever I get into a rainbows and sunshine type relationship, I like to make a mock-up of our future wedding.  Here’s the one that sticks in my head:

A few years ago I was dating a recent alumnus of my university and the Pi Kappa Phi fraternity.  Our wedding was going to be an amazing day with me in a pretty white dress and him in a striking black tux.  My bouquet would feature the flowers of our houses, though I think they are actually differing wedding seasons and quite contradictory color-wise.  The tuxes of the groomsmen and the dresses of the bridesmaids would be in the respective blues of our Greek organizations with the other colors acting as accents.  The colors would be around the seats in ribbons and flowers would be everywhere and tied with the ribbons.  The location wasn’t important.  Neither was the location of the reception.  The only important thing about the reception was that the cake would be tasty (so definitely not chocolate), there would be delicious champagne, and there would be an open bar.  In my esteemed opinion, every wedding needs an open bar.  No, really, at a wedding open bars are awesome.

Or, at least, I imagine they would be awesome.

I’ve only ever been to two weddings in my life, as far as my memory serves me.  The first was when I was about five and was a flower girl for my favorite Aunt’s wedding.  The second was when I attended the ceremony for my second grade teacher’s wedding.  I was supposed to attend a younger friend’s military wedding in July, but I was off at my summer job by then.  That’s my history with weddings.

Well, at this moment.

Last I heard, my GBF is engaged.  I found out through FB.  It’s a sad realization to hear these things through FB, but what can you do?  I won’t be attending his wedding due to legalities, but he’s already taken to calling the man his husband.  So there’s that.

I’m also in this group called the Fab Five.  At one point, there were six members, but it’s been so long that I’m not quite sure why there’s only five.  I think it’s because the sixth member was in a different fifth grade class.  Anyway, in this group of friends, I am the one who has dated around the most and has taking the role of perpetual bridesmaid.  Two of the girls are currently engaged, and one has only been dating the guy for three months.  Unfortunately for me, I am not going to be a bridesmaid for either one.  So there goes my consolation prize for being a perpetual bridesmaid.  How are the groomsmen supposed to know who the brides’ eligible single friends are?  I think I may need to wear a name tag…  Or a huge neon sign…

One of my dearest sorority sisters told me today that she got engaged on Saturday.  I am so happy for her!  I’m not quite sure what my chances are of being a bridesmaid for her, but they don’t really matter to me much.  I don’t feel a twinge of jealousy for her at all.  I think this might be because she’s a year older than me.  I know, that seems petty, but a year can make such a difference and I really just need to find my footing.  In any case, I’m saving now to make the flight out to California in the next couple of years for her wedding.  It will have been my fifth wedding by that time.  Well, fifth or so…  I’m really excited for the chance to see her and hopefully I’ll be able to make it out there before the wedding, that way I don’t only get to see her when she’s a stressed out wedding obsessed Allie.  It’s also going to be a marine wedding, so clearly it will be awesome!

One other friend is already married and has been for about a year now.  Her pictures are gorgeous!

I know that Post-Grad isn’t really the time to worry about weddings, so I wish my friends would halt their marriages a bit.  But I know that if it weren’t my friends my age (or younger) getting married, I wouldn’t be worrying as much.  So, I just have to take it in stride and know that eventually I will be marrying my fraternity man also.  I just hope that’s sooner rather than later because I want a Big Fat Greek (Letter Organization) family.

Also, neither of the Fab Five members are having open bars…  If this has taught me nothing, it’s that an open bar is a nice thing to have at a wedding.  Yes, I definitely plan on having an open bar at my future wedding.

Help! I’m Post-Grad…

The appropriate title for this posting is the same as the blog, “Help!  I’m Post-Grad…”,  as this is currently how I feel about my life right now.  I graduated in May with a degree in English and I have no idea what I’m going to do in the near future, but not because of the degree.  I feel like since I only graduated in May, this isn’t so bad.  But I’m about to go stir crazy and have to start doing something soon…  The fact that I am currently recovering from surgery isn’t helping.  Hopefully I’ll be fully recovered soon.  I also just got back from my summer job, so I need to find a new job as soon as possible.  Partly for money, but mostly for my sanity.

In the meantime, I’ve been rewatching Gilmore Girls and reading the Sookie Stackhouse novels–I’m currently on From Dead to Worse.  I’m excited to be able to exercise soon and get back to my tennis as well as job searches, alumni events, and other hobbies.  I’m so used to being busy all the time.  I really can’t wait to get back to that again.   Eventually, I want to be an elementary school teacher, so getting my credentials is in the near future life plan.

In any case, this blog is a little on the short side, but I feel as though it’s a fair introduction to what this whole thing is about.  I actually decided to start this blog because my gay best friend told me to start writing something while I’m recovering to give me something to do.  He knows me so well…  So, on that note,  I think I want to talk about weddings tomorrow.  I promise it will be enjoyable.